Tuesday, February 24, 2009
@ 5:08 PM
I liked this blogskin. If only i can put my own artistic pictures in it. Although i generally dun like taking pictures, i do have alot of wacky pictures with my sisters. heh. Some day, i'll post it up. :)
Was gazing out my kitchen window and looking out to the rain. I wish i could take a pic of how marvelous the sky was and the raindrops on my window. But my phone do not allow me to. =/
I liked the window alot. It's a place where i reflect, talked to my loved ones, tear when i had a nightmare or when im awfully sick. It brings back wonderful memories.
Spent my day being a day housewife. Made a meal of fishes and porridge for me and my sis. Im surprised and my sis was too. Afterall, ive never done that in my 22 years. haha. Been reading up about yoga and it really really interest me. Spent 2 hours online searching on it, let's hope there's someone who's willing to go with me as i overcome the fear of embarrassment of how skinny my body is. And to wear sports bra and pants?! Lots of things to overcome before i take on the challenge..
Ive start a new hobby, reading reader's digest! Its really enriching and i hope i can learn much from the world through that magazine and move on to national geographic and to times magazine. Reading has been part of me since i transferred. :)
And oh, skype is an amazing thing. Was telling jinqi how this person of 17 years talked to me. That was when i know that i had skype in my com! But its not my acc. haha. He's been nice and all tho. Was choosing an eng name that suits his surname. Random stuff. But then again, i like random stuff. Esp random gifts! Haha. Thanks wei ting for tt toga dress! I love it! :D
elise
Friday, February 20, 2009
@ 3:13 PM
Dear God,
I led worship yesterday during cg. I thought i would faint in fear leading people who are older, into your presence. But i guess it was refreshing for me and i sang my heart out despite the crowd. I overcame my fear of failure. Thank God for it. Holy com was rather interesting as well, we were told to relate not only to you but to the cg as well. Hendra suggested we pray OR affirm the one next to us. And so, i prayed for him. And to my surprise, he affirmed me for my willingness. To lead worship. I know im unwilling and fearful of the outcome but God, you made it happened and i guess people are ministered. And thats the whole point of worship.
For the first time in cg, i felt your presence in the group, the holiness, the godly things we said, the things we prayed. It was as if im in youth again. No more barriers. I pray that this will not just be within the 4 walls. :)
Before i forget, always remind me about the things i wrote in that paper. To accept, to apreciate and to add on to people. I wanna do it to Jinqi and i hope you can make it happen, clear away the prejudice and make me comfortable with her. Im going out with her, make it a good one where we can share life openly. I trust and commit this blooming friendship to you.
elise
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
@ 3:45 AM
Im having some serious insomnia again. Weird thoughts flood every now and then, things that doesn't concern me pop out of no where. Making me skeptical and worried for no apparent reason. I know these sounds dumb, but things of the world suddenly overwhelm me, leaving me stoned and wondering about life.
After blog hopping, i reckoned that some blogs give you the positive feel and some don't. Some hide their feelings and some, concerned of their own spiritual life and blogged about their empty lifestyle. As for me, since im already locking it, i guess i can be honest. I like sharing about my life and hope that people will learn from my mistakes and move on, on the other hand, i dun wanna stumble people too. Caught in the middle i guess. I wouldn't say im that spiritual but i hope im moving towards it each time.
A minute ago, i was thinking about looking good, and God straight away enlightened me with the verse, seek first his kingdom and everything will be given to you as well. I always thank God that everytime i feel like sinning, or tempted, God always pop some verse in me. So, i guess i can never run away from him. Life w/o Him may be good, but its not eternal. Remember elise, choose the right thing.
What do you find in a friend?
Availability and a good listener make good friends with me. You may not be very good with words, as long as you listen to me, make time for me, we can be really good friends. I may appear strong but i guess deep down, im vulnerable in certain ways. Im fearful in friendships. I dunno who to trust, who will accept me, who will leak out my secrets, who is always there when i needed them and who would listen. I never share all to one friend. Cos, im insecure. That's it.
I don't enjoy friends who have alot of close friends. Because, they will treat you like any other friends. If you get what i mean.
elise
