Saturday, December 30, 2006
@ 3:45 AM
Just realised I got alot of things to do for the unit. Plan games for later in the evening so that people can to know one another, ( a random thing) a unit event whereby most people can make it and thinking of ways to bond the group. Leading around 40 people is really not easy, but I know I can do it, not because of my ego or whatsoever, but because God is supporting me all the way. He said he'll never leave me in the lurch and I'll take his word for it. I need to plan a direction for them too. Where is Central C heading in the coming year? God, give me a vision and your direction for the group. I know that if its God-given direction, it will definitely work out. UNITY UNITY UNITY. When can the group get it? It will and shall start with me. I will make a difference in Central C. No time to waste. Elise you can do it!
Prayer before I go to sleep: I pray that the games later will be refreshing even tho its not a new game. I pray that everyone in CC will get to know one another in a deeper measure and learn to interact more with their fellow cg members and unit members. I pray that everything will work out just fine and unity will be seen not just outwardly but also inwardly when they are back in their care groups. I pray that people will support their leaders as much as they know how and fight all the way with Satan till the end. I uphold my unit onto u, guide them, support them, anoint my leaders, give them wisdom as they lead the people and to have a passion for the younger generation. Amen.
God, help me in this, give me strength physically, emotionally and mentally. Help me to persevere on like I always do and to assure me that what Im doing is worth it and to have your support and presence with me all the time.
elise
@ 2:10 AM
O.o
Its 2:10am and I cant sleep. Don't ask me why because I dunno either. Decided to blog again. OOH! Before I forget, God answered my prayers today! I did had a fruitful time with my girls today and we enjoyed each other very much! Hui wei joined us for the very first time as our VIOLENT pillar! haha. The food wasn't to what we expected, but the atmosphere was excellent for affirmation. We literally had candle-lit dinner. How romantic..
Went pool with my brother and the rest of FC ppl. Had fun learning and I scored 4 in total! haha. Abit of achievement i guess? haha. Had a mini chat with Vince(my bro) just now, he was fearful of something(which I cant reveal), gave him my advice tho, hope he'll make the best out of it. then we went supper downstairs. Managed to spent time with him these few weeks. yay.
Oh yea! XUIQI!! When are u coming back?? I MISS U LOTS! haven exactly hear anything from u, but i hope that this blog will update u more abt my life. ( i read yours too, but its in chinese, sum i dunno how to read plus, cant tag. heh) I got alot of things to tell u! Wait till u come back, we shall stay over and talk non stop. Hee. Cant wait cant wait! Just seeing u make me soo happy. Good old days again. Soo memorable and funny. U'll know what i mean. your flying slippers in the middle of a flooding road. haha. We always laugh non stop when we talk abt it. Oh yea, and i promise to pray for u.
God,
I pray for my dear xiuqi that u'll give her peace as she take your paper once again, grant her wisdom and anoint her when she studies for you so as to glorify your name. Let her pass with flying colours so that she'll know that its not her but u doing the work through her life. Let your presence be with her and assure her that she's not alone in this period of examination. Amen!
Yea. Steph calling me now. So im off! Post again tmr! =)
elise
Friday, December 29, 2006
@ 12:00 PM
Was looking at some old photos. Reminiscence of the good old days. The people who were once with us are not here anymore, new faces surfaced and serveral remained. What about myself? I was thinking hard on the question. Out of compulsion, out of vision, out of love or out of conviction? I have yet to figure it out. Give me time on this.
Having random thoughts again. (guess im a random person) Yst din have the chance to blog because my mum took the modem away. Long story. My brother and me will know. Had a family mini war yst. Mum was scolding us( the children) and my aunty was there to add fuel to it. All of us were crossed at the words she said. (man, words really mattered, it can heal or kill, so next time pls think before u speak) Am victim of the words, emotionally scarred for life. N dad, not supporting my mum, took offence at her and starting scolding her in front of my aunty( how united ah?) And now, they are not talking again for the millionth time. New rule: wake up latest by 10am. Well well well.
Oh yea! I had a breakthrough! Not a very good one tho. I managed to get rid of my lao sai habits. But now in turn have constipation. =/ God, I rather have lao sai then constipation. Take it away from me.
Forgot what i wanted to post initially but i remembered seeing a cab that writes: love always grow. I never heard of that theory before, I only know that perfect love casts out all fears, love is patient, love is kind etc. But love always grow? Hmm. Grow in what sense? I only know that when you love a person, you'll give your best to that person, forgive all wrongs, trust, think of the best in that person, want to be with that person and many more. Oh well. Just a random thought again.
Prayer of the day:
God, i pray that u'll give peace to my family and to treasure whatever we have in this family, the time, the people etc. Open up their eyes to see beyond what they can see with their human eyes. And i pray for the event later that we'll have a fruitful time, enjoying the fellowship with the pillars( my core team) and my new believer, Izaac, together with steph chua. Be in our midst and let your presence be felt in all of our lives. Amen.
elise
Thursday, December 28, 2006
@ 1:50 AM
Dear God,
I pray that u'll improve my relationship with the DMM, I want to know them better, esp winnie and Jinqi. In whatever ways you may work. I hope to work closer with them, create an opportunity for me to do so. I wanna build close friendships with them so that we can be accountable to u and to one another. N most imptly, to know that we are not alone in serving u but we do have a companion. As for the guys, I do hope to get to know them better, their thought process, the way they perceive things and relate with certain issues, I pray that I'll be able to understand somehow or another. As for daniel, i pray that u'll give him the anointing and wisdom as he leads us,(knowing that we are not easy people to be led) and the patience with us when we commit certain mistakes or boo boo that we made in our lives.
As for my grp, central c, I pray that we can handle all the problems that are to come and that are surfacing at the moment. Help us to be wise in handling situations we never handle before, new ways of countering parental objections and peer pressure received from friends. Help us to retain ALL our new believers, to be connected with us. Help all my leaders to monitor and lead well. Lastly, I pray for all my workers that they'll renew their strength in u and take courage in u, take away all their unbelief and doubts in u but give them a new heart and having joy in serving u. Take away all their discouragements and help them to move on. I pray for a faith-filled unit and we shall move on together with u! Amen!
I cant imagine me without u, i'll be lost and soo confused. Indeed, i need u ultimately.
elise
A FRUITFUL DAY @ 1:14 AM
O.o Went escape with A-mond, Qal, Jimmy and Zihui today! Had great fun. Played almost everything. A-mond almost vomitted and he sat motionless throughout, Qal was leaning on him when we played viking! Me and Zihui kept laughing throughout the ride. Haha. Hidden affair huh? heh. Just kidding. Then came the haunted house! Eek! Zihui and me was in the middle while Jimmy and Qal were at the front and back respectively. Then you know what? Instead of holding Qal's hands while walking (cos its soo dark), I held the ghost's hand! Freaked me out lar! I shrieked. Leaving Qal behind. ( but caught hold of him in the end, haha)
Anyway, this trip makes me ponder yet again about the friendship that we had. We were quite bonded together. Can say do life together just that Kim is not here. If one day, MAYBE, when I leave church or whatsoever, I'll choose to put them as my priority. BUT, they all know that church is my TOP priority, I always ps them and do my stuff with the church, sometimes I feel that Im not trustworthy in keeping my promises but i really have no choice. Knowing that I cant have the best of two worlds. And many a times, I'll choose church over anything. That's my conviction even tho I'll feel guilty for ps-ing them. Well guys, I hope u'll understand. =)
This trip has liven up my day. Not thinking over what happened yesterday. Its a form of escapism for mi. Ive never felt so pressed before, guess ive got to learn how to handle my emotions before letting it out on anyone. Esp Qal. heh. Thx dude for your concern. For the moodswing that i had yesterday, its not your fault. =) I really enjoyed myself today. Thx for making it happen. A day free from anxieties and stress. Tmr shall be a brand new day again.
Thank God for making my day and clearing up all the mess for me. Am deeply appreciative of what u have done in my life.
elise
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I guess the only thing cheap to you is your friends? @ 12:40 AM
Title abit weird uh? I got it from Qal. Was thinking about that sentence. Does my friends come cheap? I doubt so. I invested alot in them you know? May it be my church freinds, my worldly friends, my classmates, my workmates etc. I made a decision to talk to them, to socialise with them, to know what are their likes and dislikes, to accomodate to them as much as I can etc. I can thereby say that Im a rather good friend. =)
However, I guess people don't appreciate it at times how much effort it needs to build a relationship. People take it for granted. Well, I've experienced it myself. Expectations are just too high that it cant be met. I've just been 'scolded' in a way or another over the phone that im a liar. I HATE that word. People are really hard to please. Say this they'll interpret as that. Im really sick and tired of building freindships. Its just soo hard. Maybe I should close up more? I don't even know who is for me or against me. I feel so dumb at times trying to please others when im supp to please God only? My one and only audience? Am I being sound? Friendships really mean alot to me if u haven realised. Well, I guess u'll never know how much I treasure u. That's what close to my heart.
Drop the topic. Recently haven been feeling unwell. Nose keep bleeding now and then. The pain has came back after a long while. Am i just being paraniod or izit really a disease? My mum used to have that when she was around my age. It's just a sudden pain in the chest, will have difficulty in breathing and dizziness/headache for awhile. But today I went to watch Death Note with my church friends. Shall not elaborate on the movie. Go watch it. Its a battle between the wits. Anyway, despite all these pain and discomfort, I insisted on watching the show because its for my friends and NOT out of obligation. And this is the treatment that I get? Not here to pity party or getting people to agree with me or watever. Sigh.. Guess some things are not meant to be understood. Even if we clarified out.
Im utterly hurt and disappointed at the words.
elise
Sunday, December 24, 2006
CHRISTMAS!! @ 12:09 AM
Whee! Just had xmas service today! It was great. The story of the dad running together with the son was ultra touching. Can u imagine? Derrick sth was running a race, den sth broke, he fell. Everybody at the stadium was stunned, but Derrick insisted in completing the race. He was limping very badly then out came his dad, reaching out his hands to hold his child, limping till the end of the race. Everybody was very amazed at the love the father gave, the support and everything. The way I said it may not be as touching as it seems, but to me it was really gonna be a moving sight if i were to be at the stadium.
If a earthly father can give good gifts to his children, what more God? He will give anything that will benefit us and provide us with his unconditional love, he understands us more than we understand ourself. How wonderful can he get? Christmas without christ is no christmas at all! Its just another festive season that we celebrate, go on with life and move on after that. What a meaningless christmas that would be.
Anw, received alot of cards today! Some are really encouraging, some are made out of tedious efforts,some simple and nice. But all motivates me to grow in the Kingdom of God and to serve more people. Oh well, God is good, all the time.
elise
Thursday, December 21, 2006
friends or foes? @ 2:00 AM
Whoo.. Long time didnt catch a movie alr. Finally got to watch Night at the museum. Very funny show. should watch it man. My friends and me 'were laughing like nobody's business in the cinema so were the crowd. haha. 'My dum dum wants to speak!' haha. Those who watched will know what im talking about. =)
Anw, I had a great day too. Went out with my fren, enjoyed each other's presence. Din do much things tho. Just had lunch and all. Den i met up with my yr 1 sem 1 classmates. Zihui, Biu, dessy and wilson. Ate Cafe Cartel. Had a great time catching up, laughing at each other and commenting on the waitresses. haha. I missed the classmates. Val, jie min, sida etc. Those were the good old days back then in tanglin campus. Hope we can chill out more often in school or whatever. =)
Oh yea. Just had a nasty talk with someone. keep saying that JC is different from poly. Of cos its different! JC is for the smart people, wear school U n so called to be more stressing. Poly is soo called more ' slack', which is not totally true, we had to complete this and that, with datelines that are soo tight at times, tests, have to deal with changing classmates and backstabbing(which dun happen to me, hopefully). What's the big deal with education? More knowledge? Qualifications? Future? For the sake of doing? Tell me on this.
Is education that important or just for the status sake?
elise
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Random-ness @ 2:47 AM
Hey hey hey!! I just asked Jason to help me with my blog! Extremely pleased with the new outlook. Heh. Simple and nice. Classic. =) Thanks Jason! Pretty late now tho. 249am! But im just too excited to sleep. This is gonna be my online journal, where i write my feelings, thoughts process and everything. Hope it's worth the read!
Anyway, christmas's drawing near! I've not done my xmas shopping as yet, BUT, i noe what im gonna buy for my people n my core team. Heh. Pretty interesting stuffs tho. Such as fishing nets, cookie cutter etc. Pretty extraordinary gifts yea? But i think they'll love it. Cos its sth that they need. =) N man! I haven write cards yet! Gonna burn midnight oil tmr to write. heh
Having stayover this sat near Changi. Wonder how's it gonna be like. Gifts exchange, fellowship, carols? sleepless night? (which is very unlikely for me, haha) Looking forward to it. =)
Random thots: why it keep pouring today? Rain is fine with me. (in fact i like the rain) But too much of it makes u cold and wet. Ive been wet just now, forgot to bring umbrella out, then i had the sudden thot of those people in freezing cold countries being 'frozen' to death. It kinda gives me the shivers. Thank God im in spore, 4 weathers: hot, hotter, wet, wetter. haha. No winter, n seasons that will either freeze u to death or too hot that u'll have heat stroke. Oh well. God is strategic in putting u where u are supposed to be.
wow. realised that its a rather long entry alr. Shall stop for today.
Bye!
elise
Saturday, December 16, 2006
LOST @ 2:44 AM
Hey! It's really late. But I cant seem to fall asleep. Alot of things have been bothering me. Church, family etc. Just came back from camp not long ago. Enjoyed myself with the people very much. Had an international delegate. Her name is Renee. Pronounced as Re-nei. She's from hope Manila. Pretty small in size, but powerful woman of God. Learnt how she outreached to people and her own personal life. Shall not elaborate on her. heh.
Anyway, felt rather tired recently. Those kind that's not lack of sleep. (if u noe wad i mean) Trying to figure out what's exactly bothering me. Too much committment till I cant cope without realising it? Family caused me too much problems that i cant breathe? Guess I really dunno. Dunno wad God's trying to tell me too. Im lost. Bring me back.
i guess humans' greatest need is to be needed
elise
