Wednesday, January 2, 2008
@ 12:56 AM
I guess this post would be long cos ive got thoughts on my mind. Read it if you want, skip it you cant take it anymore. :)
hmm. Let's just say. New year, new things? The old has gone, the new has come. And i guess for 2007, there are things ive grown in and there are things ive deproved. (if there's such a word)
Areas ive grown in: courage, peace.
Well, alot of things happened and i guess with courage and peace, i wouldn't have overcome it at all. And its a year of changes and emotional torture i would say. But oh well, im glad its over. Thanks for the people who knew and helped mi with it. But i guess somethings are not meant to be dealt together with others. So im glad tt God went thru it with mi totally and sent help all over. :)
Areas ive deproved: love and controlling of emotions.
I used to be more loving than i am now without judging people and really love them as who we are. But i realised tt im not as loving after things happened and i was really tramatised by it. Tho i may not appear discouraged or whatsoever, but deep down, i do feel something. Till now. And i hope the cup will be taken away frm me in this coming new year. If you may. But of cos, to love, is not exactly sth tt i have struggle in, but to trust, is something tt is hindering me from loving to the best i can. If you get what i mean.
In the area of controlling my emotions. I thought i could easily smoked through most people, but to some (close ones) i totally sucked at it. I became angry and impatient when people
pissed me off with their insensitive words or those trying to prove tt they know it all. Esp abt ministry and how i take care of my sheep. okay, i might be proud here but who likes to be bossed around being told what to do every single time, saying tt they are right and u are wrong? Everyone has their methods of doing things and yea, perhaps im wrong, but i cant change overnight isn't it? But yea, i appreciate the talk and hope it doesn't occur again. I view it as putting down instead of building up. And if ever, after a discussion(mostly im not in it), im quiet, means im thinking of things. Im a slow processor of thoughts. So, do not talk to me or rub things in because u know my words can kill at times.
And so, new year resolutions!
I HOPE to grow fatter. Like to 46 kg? If that's possible, praise God. haha. And to eat healthily. More veg and PLAIN water. Which ive been doing recently. But the primary ones would be to disciple YK and Angela to be official ULs! I hope i can do it fast knowing exactly how to go abt doing it.
Yup! that's abt it. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Tho abit late but better than never!
elise
