On sat, I learnt a precious lesson. How to be a righteous shepherd. Flashbacks were everywhere that night. I once thought im one of the best shepherds around, meeting my sheep almost everyday, thinking of them every now and then, dreaming of them doing great things for you, teaching them to be the best they can be etc etc.
Until one day, i found out something about my sheep which scarred me for life. I thought ive alr given my best, thought that everything is okay in her life, thought that she's mend her ways, give her the authority to do things, help her in her credibility again and again, put my trust in her when everyone think otherwise, love her the way she is etc etc. But i was utterly, totally wrong.
Since then, ive been struggling to give my best to all my sheep, for fear of being hurt, being disappointed. It was the period when daniel knows im living in my own world. Where shepherding becomes a responsibilty, a must, doing without love, giving my minimal. I have not met her for months, avoiding her if i can, no contacts whatsoever. Of cos, you gave me nightmares of her every now and then and i was guilty. But i didn't heed your dreams given me, until yesterday, when the teaching was taught and her face showed up ever so often.
I guess ive not gotten over it yet, but to all my sheep, im doing my best as from now, to give as i was before. Because its not your fault and its not fair for you. Bug me for teachings and i'll give. Tell me you are serious abt growing and i'll definitely groom you to my best. I promise. You'll be in my prayers.
I want to be a righteous shepherd. Lord, help me to forgive and forget, not to have bitterness and to love as how you would. If you may, take the cup away from me. I dun wanna ruin a life. Amen.
Thank God for giving mi a C5, im truly truly thankful. And for zach, teaching me though im not a good student at all. Your effort is finally paid off after so many years. And thanks for the people who were concerned. :)
