Thursday, December 20, 2007
@ 2:21 PM
Okay. Im gonna be really random today. So take caution in reading it.
First realisation ive had. Im too self-centered. If you noticed, all my blog posts revolves around I, me, myself. Ive not talked about my people for the longest time ever.
God, help me regain back my passion once again.
Ive having nightmares everynight. Dreams of group not growing, people backsliding, someone chasing me, wanting something really badly from me(which i dunno wad) bad quarrels often ending up in me screaming in my dreams, my past and some demons thingy. More often waking up in shock. I think im in emotional distress. Shrugs.
God, help me to be aware of my own emotions.
Selective sharing. Recently i learnt to select my sharings. I shared to Sharlene certain struggles i faced recently and i realised tt i keep talking abt this particular person. And sharlene was saying: out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. I guessed its true. i enjoyed the presence so much. I know who not to share my ministry woes to, who not to share abt my families thingy, who not to share my relationship issues etc. But i know who i can share freely too. :)
God, help me to be balanced in this area.
Recently, ive made this person really upset. To a point tt we don't communicate anymore. I tried to call, but to no avail. i initiated a meet up but no replies. Im sick of being pro-active but yea. im sorry. I know one day, you'll come back to me. It takes time to heal, isn't it?
God, help me to be humble to admit my mistakes.
Ive got a girlfriend. haha. odd days, she'll be my boyfriend. even days im the guy. haha. sounds fun. But tt's how i relate to my sheep. And we are close enough to share things. Or maybe i think it this way. Not sure abt her tho. :) And mind you, she's really demanding. Wait till the odd days! HAHA.
God, thank you for this friendship.
Ive always give people the wrong impression. You know sometimes i can be quite blunt or too open. But im like that. If you are uncomfortable, do tell me k? I dun want any miscommunication. I dun mind you being open. Just don't do anything funny like taking of your pants or whatsoever, i'll be stunned. Haha. Not tt they never do before, but pls respect us girls. Or at least tell us before hand.
God, help me to be senstive to people around me.
I love my little private world of mine. So if i shared you some part of it, be grateful. You know sometimes i will stammer and blush when im very nervous abt sharing certain issues. Esp when you gaze into my eyes. I will tend to look away. BUT, im fine with it now. Thanks to you.
God, help me to relate well with others.
Lastly, cgo8! ive got 6 more schools to complete. Ive got wineskin, all i need is people strolling in. Retain them and disciple them well. Jia you people! Im going cg later. For the first time this year. I know im gonna enjoy it and hopefully make impact!
God, help me to be fruitful!
expect the unexpected and you'll be surprised.
man. i miss you so much.
elise
