Its sat. And once again i learnt something new. From yesterday's prayer meet, let go of your past and strain forward. If i keep holding on to my past, i'll not just be stagnant, i'll never grow as a person, let alone spiritually. So its up to me whether i wanna let go, dwell on my past or move forward. The decision is mine. It just like whether i wanna grow, be the old me or be satisfied at where i am today. But which, of cos, i wanna grow as a person and spiritually. :) Guess its hard, but i know i can do it eventually. yeah. one thumb up for myself! heh.
What i learnt in service: Something that struck me. I am supposed to be a powerful christian, but sometimes i dun feel so due to circumstances. When i look at my life, sometimes i dun feel powerful at all. Question is: Am i that powerful after all? hmm. God has his ways, and his ways are higher than my ways. Sometimes we ask ourselves: Are we for God or against God? When we disobey, it seems like we are against God, but on the other hand, isn't it scary to be against Him? Your life is endangered any moment. I'll rather be for Him. Which means, to obey.
In Seed Meet: It dawned upon me that when i served hard, there are bound to have discouragements, but dun let them affect you. Guess why my group is kinda stagnant because of the past discouragements that held me of my potential growth. Everything lies with the leader. So when i stop caring, the group stops growing. I dun want that to happen. It too selfish of me. That why when Daniel shared abt me, i was kinda angry at myself. Why am i so weak? Im supp to be strong. Crying is a weakness. I dun cry. But on the other hand, i'll be emotionless if i dun cry for my ppl when they are not doing well, when they did something really wrong, when the grp never grow, when we celebrate each other's unique-ness etc. When my ppl are successful, i'll cry for them, when they are growing, i'l cry. Not in a sadistic manner, but i really feel happy for them. Till words cant describe. People matters to me. Guess i love them so much that i dun allow mistakes to happen in their lives that will in turn ruin their lives for their own good. But which leader dun do that? Oh well.
Dear God, I wanna be a great leader that understand the welfare of my ppl, to love them unconditionally, to believe in them no matter what happens and to be with them when bad situations occur. I wanna be the best shepherd i can be to my ppl. To listen, to sympathise, to love and to care. To teach them to the best i can and to impart whatever i know to them. Help me to grow so that they can grow. Let your anointing be upon me and your favour to be upon central C. Let us be the gals that lead the way and to show others that you can use simple gals like us to win the world for you. Let us b a great testimony to many and a salt and light to the world. Widen our vision and help us grow like never before in quality and quantity. Give us your conviction so as to extend the KOG. We wanna do your work with great joy. Amen.
Yeah. Felt so peaceful after praying. So refreshed. Im actually phyically tired and im gonna get some sleep. Tmr's water baptism and im gonna write cards for my ppl now. gdnite!
