Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I guess the only thing cheap to you is your friends? @ 12:40 AM
Title abit weird uh? I got it from Qal. Was thinking about that sentence. Does my friends come cheap? I doubt so. I invested alot in them you know? May it be my church freinds, my worldly friends, my classmates, my workmates etc. I made a decision to talk to them, to socialise with them, to know what are their likes and dislikes, to accomodate to them as much as I can etc. I can thereby say that Im a rather good friend. =)
However, I guess people don't appreciate it at times how much effort it needs to build a relationship. People take it for granted. Well, I've experienced it myself. Expectations are just too high that it cant be met. I've just been 'scolded' in a way or another over the phone that im a liar. I HATE that word. People are really hard to please. Say this they'll interpret as that. Im really sick and tired of building freindships. Its just soo hard. Maybe I should close up more? I don't even know who is for me or against me. I feel so dumb at times trying to please others when im supp to please God only? My one and only audience? Am I being sound? Friendships really mean alot to me if u haven realised. Well, I guess u'll never know how much I treasure u. That's what close to my heart.
Drop the topic. Recently haven been feeling unwell. Nose keep bleeding now and then. The pain has came back after a long while. Am i just being paraniod or izit really a disease? My mum used to have that when she was around my age. It's just a sudden pain in the chest, will have difficulty in breathing and dizziness/headache for awhile. But today I went to watch Death Note with my church friends. Shall not elaborate on the movie. Go watch it. Its a battle between the wits. Anyway, despite all these pain and discomfort, I insisted on watching the show because its for my friends and NOT out of obligation. And this is the treatment that I get? Not here to pity party or getting people to agree with me or watever. Sigh.. Guess some things are not meant to be understood. Even if we clarified out.
Im utterly hurt and disappointed at the words.
elise
